Sunday, July 5, 2009

English people are shit

I was on holidays not so long ago when I found out that England is actually a real country. I rang home, shouting and hollering down the phone, pausing only to spit on the ground in disgust; while trying to tell anyone and everyone who would answer my phone calls that these lager-filled ogres who collect ASBOs as if they were Pokemon cards actually exist.

For many years I had thought that this rock off the east coast of Ireland was just a fictional land mass, dreamt up by Irish parents in order to scare their children into acquiring class. And an education. And manners. But to my dismay, I was wrong.

In one restaurant, I had to listen to one English group ranting and raving at an extremely polite Asian waiter, who in my opinion, was doing a pretty swell job, by virtue of the fact that he hadn't brandish a sawn-off shotgun yet and blown the miserable wretches and all their bitching and moaning to hell.

Mid-order, this group of loud-mouthed louts decided that the most logical thing to do would be to change their minds. This resulted in confusion. A sense of confusion that was of course blamed on the Asian waiter, who by the way, spoke far better English than any of them. I sat there with my fork gripped firmly in my hand, wondering how long it would take a person to gouge somebody's eyeball out and shove it back down their neck; only to come to the conslusion that it would take somewhere inbetween three to ten seconds, depending on how sharp the fork was and how many times the person in question had come into contact with English people.

Long story short because I'm tired; the majority of English people are loud mouthed scumbags who need to realise that nobody really cares about their opinion and that they should fuck right off. And die. In a fire. That is fueled by petrol.

28 comments:

  1. I think you have it on the button there. I work in restaurants and bars here and some English are the worst people to put up with.
    While I worked in London for a year, they're even worse over there.

    Funny, they thought I was the odd one for not just smiling and taking their shit.

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    1. I couldn't agree more. They are a smelly assholes who do not deserve to be respected. Racist bunch of inbreeds, that's all they are.

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    2. ^ You lie like a dog, you bigoted piece of shit!

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  2. I'd respect them a little bit more if they actually knew and were aware of the fact that they were being a bunch of ignorant tossers. What really drills me is the fact that they act as if it's ok.

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    1. Like I'd ever have respect for you if I'm English, which I'm not.

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  3. I'm English and even I have to agree with you on this.

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    1. Since you kiss up to Hellbrain, you and him can shag each other to death for all I care.

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  4. Yep, as a brit, you are right! I'm english and I hate the english. Mind you, I hate people in general. People are, well, twats.

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    1. You closed-minded traitor. I may not like all people. But your post makes you an excuse for a person. Therefore, I won't miss you if you die.

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  5. You ignorant and narrow-minded racist! Not all English people are bad.

    How dare you lump 'em all into one category. Maybe someone should do that about race and see how you like it.

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    1. Read your history english are the biggest cultural rapist! Yes not all but most and unfortunately the ones who travel overseas are worst! Also foreigners seem to master your language better than you lazy speaking fornicating drunks!

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    2. ^Who in the fuckin' hell are you to tell me all that bullshit, you damn hypocrite?! You're tellin' me to read my history when you can't seem to do that to yours?! Look who's talkin', asswipe!

      And since when did foreigners master my language better than us people whom you called speakin' fornicating drunks? You're full o' shit.

      As for your assumin' that we're lazy speakin' fornicating drunks, you don't know me or any of my kind very well. So don't go around makin' false assumptions about me, you judgmental cocksucker! Instead, get to know me well.

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    3. cant even sort his grammar out illiterate cunt hahaha and english is my 4th language

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  6. I went out with one and had his baby, through the whole pregnancy he was selfish, abusive, cruel and high off his kite then next minute total gentlemen... he went on a stop over flight home in Thailand that turn into 4 he starts ignoring me then total abandonment... my daughter is 5 months... I hear he went home and straight back to thailand I hope karma hits him. Shit breeds shit, this english apple did not fal far from the tree... Im happy to be a single mum

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    1. ^You're such a hypocritical bitch.

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    2. On second thought, I take back calling you callin' you a hypocritical bitch .And so, I apologize.

      I didn't realize that you were in the right all along. To make up for making a false assumption about you, I congratulate you and your daughter for being away from that jerk.

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    3. On third thought, I take my apology back. You really are a hypocritical bitch who's racist.

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  7. I totally agree, English people are just drunken good-for-nothing scumbag

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    1. You're just as much of a liar as the maker of this blogger, you ass kisser.

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    1. Correct!!! But british are mostly snobs, just because they cannot see what is happening across the channel, they are not (great) any more.

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    2. ^ You're such a narrow-minded bigot in lumpin' most British folks into one category. How the hell would you like it if other people do that to your nationality, dickhead?

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  9. I hear that. I worked in a gas station in oz . it was the only gas station for several km in both directions. the working class brits are not usually that bad a little pushy but the few higher class brits that I run into more often are pieces of work. they get raw the moment they detect my slight texan drawl and expect me to wade on them hand and bitch about me to my superiors no matter how nice I was to them. some remind me I shouldn be in OZ. nasty thing to say when you found true love there.

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    1. Quit makin' false assumption about all British folks, ass.

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    1. Not at all, ass-kissin' liar.

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  11. most of the britons I met were frustrated, evil, twisted assholes. I think that's the result of too much inbreeding. More than two thirds of them are moral and biological waste. What a fucking race of ass lickers, hypocrites and backstabbers! Met some good people too, the Welsh are really good people, all my respect for them. Overall, fuck that island and fuck britons, definitely will know what to expect and how to deal with it next time when I'll interact with them

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