Friday, May 1, 2009

Sling it over your shoulder...

Is there anything more manly than a guy with a jacket slung over his shoulder?

Just look at him. He's about five minutes away from cracking open a bottle of Stella Artois and punching somebody in the face. Look at that smile of his. That smile is confirmation that he knows he's much more manlier than you. You could train seven days a week; but the sad fact is that you'll only be a shell of a man in comparison to him and his shadow beard. Look at how he rests his free hand in his pocket, as if to insinuate that he could beat you five ways from Sunday with no arms and still have the energy to go shopping for a new jumper afterwards. With a masculine jaw like that, it wouldn't surprise me if he spends his spare time doing press ups with his chin. He also probably chews tobacco, shaves with a screwdriver and bullies Chuck Norris. If this guy could find enough time out of his busy schedule of walking around with a jacket over his shoulder, he'd probably put an end to every conflict in the Middle East and invade Russia. During the Winter.

No seriously. Why is it that men who carry their jackets always look like fucktards? It's just one of those things in life that makes me grit my teeth and nearly choke in anger. I see a guy with a forced scowl on his face and a jacket over his shoulder and all I want to do is kick him square in the jaw. And it's not just the jacket either... no. It's also that tough guy walk that they try to pull off. That Jack The Lad stroll where the legs make long pronounced steps and the shoulders wobble gently from side to side. Oh the rage. I feel it.

4 comments:

  1. oh my God! you're so fucking much better than that jacket carrying square jawed sissy boy. lol dude you're a fucking riot. thanks

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  2. Ordering a Heinster and a pint bottle of apples in a bar in D4 will do that too.

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  3. It's still preferable to tying a sweater around your neck.

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  4. I have to agree with you there Shawn.

    However, the real man's way is to sweat it out. Man sweat is natural. We should embrace it. Rub it on our children's faces with a cloth. Attempt to cure cancer patientsby making them drink (... on and on etc).

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