Monday, April 27, 2009

My interview with Bock and Medbh (Part 2)

Following on from part one.

Bock: You actually went through the bother of editing my websites header... all for some stupid joke about me molesting children?
Hellbrain: Yes.
Medbh: Look Hellbrain; how about just letting me go? I won't say a thing to anyone! Do whatever you want to Bock! I don't care. I just want to go home.
Bock: YOU BACKSTABBING BITCH! I THOUGHT THAT WE WERE IN THIS TOGETHER!
Medbh: Bock, only a few minutes ago you were imploring him to beat me.
Bock: Oh... a feminist AND A LIAR are we?
Medbh: You stupid sexist bastard; if I remember correctly, your exact words were, and I quote: "You fucking tell her. Slap that bitch."
Hellbrain: Ok, I've had enough. The both of you need to shut the fuck up right now.
*Brandishes a gun*
Bock: OH MY FUCKING LORD HE HAS A GUN.
Medbh: LOOK HELLBRAIN I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN TO OFFEND YOU.
Bock: SHOOT HER HELLBRAIN! NOT ME! SHE WAS THE ONE CALLING YOU ALL SORTS OF NAMES BEHIND YOUR BACK.
Medbh: HE'S LYING HELLBRAIN. DON'T LISTEN TO HIM.
*Ding dong - the door bell rings*
Hellbrain: Hm. Excuse me for a second while I just have a quick check to see who that is.
*Runs upstairs and opens the front door*
Hellbrain: Ah, Twenty. Twenty Major, me auld pal. And to what do I owe the pleasure?
Twenty: Hi Hellbrain, how's it goin' bud? I just popped around to ask if there was any chance I could have my angle grinder back?
Hellbrain: Oh, your angle grinder.... so you're not here to have a chat then? No?
Twenty: Well, I'm a little busy you see. What with work and the blog and all. You understand, right?
Hellbrain: Of course Twenty, I'm a busy man myself.
Twenty: So, are you finished with the angle grinder?
Hellbrain: Well, I'll probably need it for another day or so. You see, I'm working on something important in the basement.
*The sounds of Bock and Medbh screaming for help in the basement start to shake the house. Twenty looks startled.*
Twenty: Oh right. No problem. I'll be going so.
Hellbrain: Oh, you don't have to Twenty. You really don't have to.
Twenty: Oh no no no, I'm a busy man Hellbrain. I had better be on my way.
Hellbrain: I don't think you understood me Twenty. Me and my friend here *waves gun*, would prefer it if you stayed.
Twenty: Shite.
*Basement door swings open. Medbh and Bock are surprised to see Twenty walking down the stairs.*
Medbh: TWENTY! I KNEW YOU'D SAVE US!
Bock: I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING THAT I EVER SAID ABOUT YOU TWENTY!
*Hellbrain appears behind Twenty, holding a 9mm gun to his back.*
Bock: Oh bollocks. We're all going to die.
*Medbh starts to cry - because she's a woman and they always cry first.*
Twenty: How the fuck did I end up in this mess?
Medbh: I can't believe this. I really can't believe th-- *pauses to wipe away tears* WHAT DO YOU FUCKING WANT FROM US YOU BASTARD! YOU FUCKING BASTARD!
*Starts to sob uncontrollably*


To be continued - DUN DUN... DUN!

3 comments:

  1. Right.

    Rounding up the blogging elite in the basement with a gun.

    They rub the lotion on their skin....

    ReplyDelete
  2. Elite?

    This is turning quite interesting.

    It needs more sex and violence though.

    and pictures.

    ReplyDelete
  3. By elite I mean those who are mentioned everywhere and on every single blog roll. Why is it that these sites are so popular?

    ReplyDelete