Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Maddy McCann and our economy - name two things that have been raped.

It's true. No more jobs are left. As these refusals show.

Dear Mr Hellbrain,
Thank you for showing an interest in our company. Unfortunately however, we do not have any available positions for somebody who is ‘highly qualified in the field of woman beating’. Here at Cosmo, we strive to create and maintain a diverse multicultural environment that provides opportunities to all of our employees, regardless of their race, gender or sexual orientation. It is our belief that although you clearly have the skills for the job, your attitude towards women, children and those of other races is so unbelievably sickening and out of touch with the modern world that our HR manager actually rang home to see if her kids were ok after reading your job application. With all of that said, we would like to wish you the best in your future endeavours and ask that you do not attempt to contact us again.

Sandra Casey


Dear Mr Hellbrain,
We regret to inform you that the vacancy in our company is not open to people who consider “rape” as an “extreme sport”. Maybe you shouldn’t have included that in your hobbies section? We would also like to inform you that we have forwarded your CV and the accompanying opening letter about the sex worker in Amsterdam to the local Gardai.

John Doyle


Dear Mr Hellbrain,
Although I did find your article interesting (in the sense that I didn’t sleep last night), I just don’t feel as if the world is ready to hear why Josef Fritzl should be on the front cover of Time magazine.

Martin Summers


Dear Mr Hellbrain,
We do not consider “kidnapping Madeline McCann” as an accomplishment that is worthy of being noted on a professional resume. Regardless of whether you were joking or not; we regret to inform you that we have no place for the likes of you in our company.

Jane Dwyer


Dear Mr Hellbrain,
I’m very sorry Mr Hellbrain, but I’m pretty sure that our school board will not allow the designation of a Corporal Administrator “of Pain!!11!!1”, as you so colourfully put it; so there was really no need for you to waste your time by sending me the blueprints of a mass concentration camp for children. Also, as somebody who has a keen interest in architecture, I would just like to say that a “wall built of feminists” would be structurally unsound.

Frank O Shea

5 comments:

  1. Yeah, you'll have trouble getting the mortar to bond with the feminists.

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  2. Stuck up fuckers

    Hows a man supposed to get a job in this town

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  3. That's pure sexism, if you would have been a woman applying for the same job there's no doubt you would have gotten it.

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  4. They probably would have hired her as a special needs assistant. The everyday oppression of modern man never ceases to end.

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