Thursday, April 2, 2009

Homeless people

I was busy sending threatening text messages to Childline yesterday when I came across a poster that was campaigning for an end to homelessness.

Now why on earth would anyone want to end homelessness? Besides midgets and terminally ill cancer patients, homeless people are quiet possibly the funniest type of people on the planet. They spit, sleep in their own puke and piss in the middle of busy streets. They hurl abuse at youngsters, fight each other and even buy teenagers alcohol. What else could you want from them? I knew one homeless guy who played the Bongo and danced to a series of Reggae songs that he played on his ghetto blaster. Of course he also asked me for cigarettes, but I suppose that it was well worth the trade seeing as his misery always lit up my day and made me smile.

The fact is; society needs homeless people. This is because the majority of people are cock-smoking losers who need somebody else to look down on. If homelessness ended, you'd find that a lot of those hovering around the bottom steps of the social ladder would end up throwing themselves over bridges and lighting themselves on fire. Although I reckon that such a series of mass suicides would be pretty awesome, I'm not sure that those wishing to end homelessness would hold the same opinion. Not because they're particularly against suicide or anything, but more so because they're against anything that I find funny.

1 comment:

  1. What a narrow-minded and inconsiderate jerk you are. You think that suicide is awesome? If so, you're sadly mistaken.

    Why don't you try committing suicide instead? Maybe then, no one will miss you since you're such a big fat liar.