Friday, March 27, 2009

Gerry Ryan is fat

The only kind of people that listen to Gerry Ryan are 50-something-year-old stay-at-home women that complain about as much trivial things as humanly possible; and disabled people who spend their days desperately trying to change the station. Those and the odd few coma patients are what keep this pretentious fat bastard’s bloated salary afloat. This ego maniac (as ironic as that tag is coming from somebody who thinks (read: knows) that he’s better than you...) spends his morning practically begging old tired hags to complain about their neighbours down the street or their boss or their children’s principal or their local traffic warden or the fact that a Golden Retriever took a shit in their front garden and ran off with one of their children.

A typical conversation on the Gerry Ryan show will usually start off with some random old bitch moaning about something or another that nobody else with a life would ever dream about getting worked up over. I mean seriously; what kind of person rings in to a radio show to give out about her next door neighbour’s cats? I mean, cats are pretty cool. They kill mice, birds and small children. Surely we can put up with the fact that they piss everywhere?

Getting back to the topic at hand: As the show goes on, fat Gerry will keep the conversation going by spitting out boring soundbyte replies such as “Oh I don’t believe it” or “Ha ha ha, you have to be kidding me!” or “You must be joking!” The fact that his loyal fans haven’t caught onto the fact that he doesn’t really give a shit about what they have to say really goes to show how the average IQ of his audience is bordering on severe mental handicap.

If you’re one of those people that do like to listen to good ole Gerry, please take a moment out of your busy schedule to kill yourself.

1 comment:

  1. I guess you are happy now that he is gone.